Friday, January 27, 2012

tears of a clown...part two

"what soap is for the body, tears are for the soul"
the other day,  a tearful client asked me during a counseling session, "how do you do it?  how do you do this job and NOT cry?"

so i explained that i do cry.  in fact, i cry a lot.  
i just try not to cry when i'm "working" - i respect my clients so much so, i would not want to take away from their experience because i truly believe in the healing properties of their tears.  
furthermore, i am a private "cryer"...always have been.  i like to cry alone - of course there are times when i can't help it & i cry no matter who is around, but i prefer to cry late at night when my kids are sleeping, or alone in my car so i can fully engage the process...full body sobbing & wailing if needed.  
i cry when i'm sad and when others are sad.  i cry when i'm happy and when others are happy.  i cry when i'm frustrated.  i cry when i'm angry or upset.  i cry when i feel resolution.  i cry for people i know and love.  i cry for strangers.  i cry when i hear a song.  i cry when i watch t.v., a movie, or even a good you tube video.  i cry when i read a book.  i cry when i receive a card.  i cry at a kind gesture.  i cry when i laugh.  i cry when my heart breaks and when my heart heals.  i cry when everything is beyond my control. i cry about birth and i cry about death.  
i cry.  i cry a lot.  
i go through phases in which i don't cry as much or as often - however, this week has been a bit overwhelming & the tears have been flowing.  
according to some, i am "twice blessed" - the fact that i can cry easily and naturally means that i am #1 wonderfully human and #2 well connected to my emotions.  
dr. william frey, a biochemist  director of the dry eye and tear research center in minneapolis, minn. believes "one reason people might feel better after crying could be because they are removing, in their tears, chemicals that build up during emotional stress" and his research indicates that "tears...rid the body of various toxins and wastes" - emotional based tears contain high levels of cortisal - the "stress" hormone.  dr. margaret crepeau, ph.d, professor of nursing at marquette university, believes "laughter and tears are two inherently natural medicines.  we can reduce duress, let out negative feelings, and recharge.  they truly are the body's own best resources."
so, why does crying get such a bad rap?  those who cry are sometimes labeled "cry babies," or "weak." there is even more stigma negatively attached if you are of the male gender...and that friends, makes me want to cry.

it is time for a change. 

crying is a gift.  tears are a conduit for healing, a reminder that we are much more alike than we are different, and a means of self expression.  no shame in that at go on and have yourself a "good cry" - you'll feel better.

peace & bliss,

1 comment:

  1. Amy, this is so true. I too am a private cryer. Working in the ER you almost have to be. The ride home is when Itend to let it all out. I also agree that you are truely BLESSED!